Maternity Photo Shoot

Maternity photos.


Listen, I’m not judging you if you’re one of them.  The few elite who can take beautiful, half naked glamour shots at 8 months pregnant as if you’re not peeing your pants every hour and don’t have stretch marks plastered from your thighs all the way up to your neck.  It’s fine.

I look at these women and think, “What’s the deal? Why aren’t they wearing their husband’s sweat pants and painting shirts like the rest of us?”

And why do they look so happy?! I mean, did the photographer tell a super funny joke before snapping the shot?  Did someone just offer them free ice cream for a year?  I just can’t think of any other reason these people look so comfortable and content.

*Let’s just take a break for a sec and acknowledge that I understand that the purpose of these photos is to capture the love a mother has for her unborn child and to celebrate the miracle of life.  It’s a beautiful thing, and I’m not trying to disrespect that.*


When I’m 8 or 9 months pregnant, I walk as if I’ve been riding a horse for 5 days straight.  I’m ornery, swollen, and lucky to have brushed my hair once that day.  Every movement is precarious and a gamble on whether or not I’m going to have an accident at any given moment.  I wear my husband’s over sized t-shirts and gym shorts, because Homegirl can’t fit into any of her clothes anymore.  AND I AM NOT going to lay down $200 for a handful of clothes I’ll only be wearing for a few short months.  Also, regular clothes are uncomfortable.  I prefer no pants.


So last year, 2 days before I delivered my 3rd son, I decided to do an impromptu photo shoot. I was at a park with my family – my brother and sister in law were visiting from Kentucky, and he always brings his nice camera along to capture all the memories.  He was gracious enough to agree to be my photographer on such short notice, and I must say….he really captured the essence of my pregnant beauty.

I did a side by side comparison of typical maternity photos with my pregnancy photos, and I have one thing to say about these……

Nailed it!!!




Them Me Wind copy



Them Me Apple copy



Them Me Swing copy




Them Me Tree copy



Them Me Flowers2

I hope you enjoyed these as much as we did 😂  We were the only ones at the park laughing hysterically while on-lookers acted confused…. or tried to look away and keep their distance, afraid they might catch the weird.

I regret nothing.

3 thoughts on “Maternity Photo Shoot

  1. Perfect may be boring but this post is perfectly hilarious. I can’t say too much about suffering during pregnancy, mine were pretty easy but I still can’t imagine doing serious maternity photos without serious photoshopping.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. you crack me up. I love you so. I love your blog, and I feel so sad that I had no idea you were dealing with all of this for all of these years. You know you can always talk and share with me and Jerry cause we absolutely adore you and your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing and changing my life.


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